A Dark Mark

Today I thought to myself,  "it would nice to change my blog background." So that's exactly what I did. I was quite pleased with the background I found (It's cute, right?) and felt content that this was going to be the next phase of awesomeness for ambsterdam89.blogspot.com.
I was wrong. Thanks to the website Cutest Blog on the Block, my blog is ruined. Forever! Apparently I no longer have the ability to change my background EVER again simply because I erased some HTML stuff and put some new HTML stuff in it's place. Also, I can't even access this blog without going through the other blog, thedentalhygieneminutes.blogspot.com because the link that would normally allow me to log in is no longer in existence either. Vanished. MIA. Gone.
On a happier note, I guess it was inspiration to start that other blog because I didn't even really need it, but now I can access my shtuff through it. Yay!
Gracious me. I might be overreacting. (nahhh)
I am at an impasse right now in deciding how to respond to this odd (and apparently unheard of) situation.Tyler and I searched the internet to figure out how to undo this cluster cuss of a mess, but alas, I guess no one else has ever had this happen to them.
I can still post on here. I just have no control of what font I want to choose. (sigh)
Should I call it quits on this blog and start afresh?
I feel like Hamlet. "To be or not to be. That is the question."
I don't know.
Oh. If anyone reads, this, please refrain from choosing the background I have. It will be the last choice you ever make in regards to blog templates.
It's like a disease. It slowly takes away your freedom to choose.
It will destroy how you design your blog forever!

There is a dark mark on this blog now. Forever.

Mi Amor

I thought it would be nice to put up a few pictures of Tyler and I. I wish I understood how to use this blogger thing better, but whatever.

Sometimes true love finds you while you are sitting on a stump.

I like the grass in this picture. I really like Tyler the most though. :]

Easy entertainment.

Nerd Day

This was the day that we officially decided we really liked each other and then we kissed each other to seal the deal of liking each other. 

Together Forevs

Tiempo

Fact of the day: The word tiempo means time or season in spanish (or at least, that's what my friend Google Translate tells me).
After I came home from school today I was pondering about time and how much we have of this slippery commodity, but how little of it we use wisely. For instance, I should probably be studying about the zillions of muscles that create facial expressions right now in lieu of an anatomy test tomorrow instead of contemplating about time in a blog entry.

I really want to write about time though....

Nelson Mandela said, "We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right." Nelson Mandela knew what was up. The program I'm in at school right now requires us to do tons of service hours each month. I was feeling a bit discouraged about this at first because time is SO precious as it is and I really felt like I was barely keeping my head above the water as it was. Not to mention I do in fact have a life outside of school. Gee. However, I have found that somehow I have been able to accomplish so much more recently since I have taken the focus off of "What can I do for me?" and I have shifted my focus to, "What can I do for (insert noun [limited to places or people] here)?" Some might say it's just that I've become better at managing my time. I would have to agree to a small degree (that rhymed!), but I also really believe that as we go out of our way to serve others, especially those who come into our lives, the Lord blesses in ways we don't always understand. Maybe I'm crazy, but I really think it seems like a plausible idea.

There is no better time to do service for someone that now. We live in a world that is so focused on me and I that if we don't watch ourselves we can become blind to the world, its joys and the people that occupy it.

I just found this video and I like it a lot (minus the narrators voice)

I want to use my jelly beans wisely. The idea of how quickly time can slip through your fingertips became very profound when my mother passed away two years ago. I had so much time to spend with her and I hardly feel like I spent enough of it with her.

One of the unfortunate things about time is that you can't reverse it. Sometimes I wish I could, but deep down I know that the outcome of things in the past would still be the same because "to every thing there is a season"and "a time to every purpose under heaven."

The fact that time does go on forever is an incredible idea too. It's kind of like numbers in math. They can go on infinitely and so does time. I'm thankful for that knowledge because I know that someday I'll be reunited with my family members and we will be together FOREVER!

I guess I should probably do my homework now, but I hope you found this snippet as a useful part of your day.

Nostalgia Lane

Happy Autumn! The leaves are starting to turn here. It's going to be a lovely fall! I hope to enjoy the weather and not get stuck in my textbooks too much.

It's funny to think that one year ago today I was walking around Raleigh knocking on random people's doors telling them about my belief in Jesus Christ and His love for each of us. Some of those random people may have felt something warm their heart and decided to let us come into their homes to share more. I'm really glad I had the experience of going on a mission. As I mopped the floor this morning, I thought about the many lessons and principles I learned as a missionary. I think one of the primary lessons that I learned was that we can control our outlook on life despite what our circumstances may be.

As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf beautifully presented:

We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”

Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.

Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: “One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

I suggest reading the entire talk, "Of Regrets and Resolutions". 

I determine my happiness. :)

I'm really excited for October! I found this yummy recipe in my inbox the other day and I'm really excited to make it. Cooking is turning out to be more enjoyable than I ever thought imaginable.

Tyler and I are anticipating the release of the newest album from ARCADE FIRE at the end of October as well. The single from their new album has the best music video ever! if you go to justareflektor.com it should pull up. If you're an apple geek make sure you use google chrome instead of Safari. :)

School is...school. I enjoy it, but also struggle a lot. Last week was a tough one for me, but I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of things and I think once I start to see how everything fits together I'll find it very enjoyable. 

Carpe Diem!

Marriage and Schooling

 My love and I have been married for over a month now. I love it! I highly recommend the institution of marriage. It is very rewarding and fulfilling and strengthening. We live in half of a yellow house, there is a terrifying dog that lives next door to us and we live across the street from the church! It's so convenient. It must be recompense for all the time I spent driving to church in North Carolina...and for being at church for 6-9 hours each sunday. :)

School officially started today. I am studying dental hygiene. So far I feel like it is do-able. One of my classes requires us to keep a blog so, I have started an adjunct blog that I predict will be pretty dry and boring (truth be told) about my clinical experiences. It's called, dentalhygieneminutes@blogspot.com.

I thought this was rather hilarious. I don't really believe it is true, but still. It's pretty funny.

So, thus it begins. Another semester of school, but this time I'm married to my best friend! :)

Never say Never

I have learned a great lesson this year:  Never say never.

It was recently brought to my attention that the above phrase is the name of a Justin Bieber song. We will ignore that fact. :]

Over the past few months there have been some epically huge changes in my life.

One refinement is that I became engaged to my love and main squeeze, Tyler Lewis after being home for only 3 months. The second is that we only dated for two months before coming to the conclusion that we were obviously the most perfect companion for each other and that we would never find a better half.

I know it's crazy. Believe me. I know!

Well, I can tell you right now that this is the last place I expected to be after coming home from the mission. Truth be told, I had something like double negative desire for dating when I came home. I was still feeling very lost and confused about life as I tried to make sense of the events that had taken place over the past year and half. During my release interview, an invitation was extended by my very wise stake president to resist the temptation to be in a "comfort zone" of no dating and to start getting out and dating as soon as possible. I reluctantly agreed. Little did I know that this would be very important agreement for the weeks to follow.

Tyler Lewis and I have been friends since before we can remember. How we were ever introduced is still a mystery, but we presume it was through our mutual friend Jacquelyn when were about 13 or 14 years old. We remained good friends throughout high school, ate our lunches together at the same table in the northwest corner of Davis High's cafeteria, and attended a few of the same parties hosted by friends. When we were seniors in high school Tyler asked me on my first date ever; Homecoming! I was excited and nervous and all sorts of awkward. We danced and had marvelous evening. Not much changed after that because we were in high school and all, but we remained friends throughout the duration of our high school experience.

Tyler left for his mission shortly after we graduated from high school. Our mutual friend, Jacquelyn kept me posted on how he was doing along with several other friends who were serving during the same time. I recently found a half written christmas card addressed to Tyler during the time he was serving as a missionary. Apparently I had intentions of writing him, but failed to complete and deliver that letter. It has since been delivered...three years late :)

My first contact with Tyler after he came home was at the Davis High seminary building. We swapped numbers and within a couple of days he called and asked me on our second "first date." We went golfing and learned that we are equally awful golfers. Then we ate the Pizza Factory. By this point I had decided that I was very fond of Tyler Lewis. Unfortunately, we were both in very different phases of our lives and our second first date remained just that. A second "first date."

Time passed, I decided that I needed to serve a mission, and I set out for that roller-coaster of an adventure. Tyler attended my farewell talk. I am grateful for his loyalty. A lot of people have speculated that Tyler and I must have written back and forth while I was serving. We actually didn't write each other. The only letters I received from the male sex were my father, brother, and my friend's ex-boyfriend (which was kind of awkward...) So, our communication at the farewell talk was the last time I heard from him during that year and a half.

How we ever ended up being reunited after the mission is a bit of a miracle itself. I didn't want to invite anyone to my homecoming because I was feeling unsure of how to handle the circumstances of home life and how stable I would be while giving that talk. I decided to keep the group small and only invite people who contacted me first and asked about it.

When I finally (and reluctantly) decided to start using my phone after being home for a few days, I noticed a number that had called a few times. I ignored it at first, but when it kept popping up in my missed calls I decided to call the mystery person back to see what he or she wanted. To my surprise it was Tyler Lewis! He told me that he had received a text message from a number that he didn't know informing him that I was home. He asked about attending the homecoming address and was able to come. I am grateful things worked out the way they did. That led to a series of very fortunate events. I was without work and I don't exactly remember how everything came together, but somehow Tyler lined me up with a job at J&J Garden and Nursery. The day I came for my interview, I talked with Tyler at the front door of the J&J building. I liked Tyler, but still felt apprehensive about all of this dating business. As we were saying goodbye, Tyler asked if we could go to dinner sometime. I was bursting inside and agreed (of course). I was sooooooo nervous and excited all at the same time! We went on our third "first date" two days later. We had plans to eat at a southern BBQ place that night, but a massive snow storm ruined that plan. Our next plan was to go bowling, but the massive snow storm also ruined that plan. So, we decided to go shovel snow off of people's driveways. We talked as we shoveled driveways and something amazing happened, we clicked. Really well. It was kind of bizarre. A good bizarre though. Tyler asked me on another date for the following day and I readily agreed. By the end of the weekend, we discovered our feelings of liking were mutual and that our relationship was more than "just friends."


On March 22 Tyler proposed to me; and it came as quite the surprise! March 22 started out like any other day. After getting home from work I noticed that no one was home. I thought it was odd, but continued to get ready for the date Tyler had planned that evening. When we were getting ready to leave, I was kind of concerned that no one in my family was home or had made any attempt to contact me concerning their whereabouts. I was especially concerned about my 8 year old sister and where she was. I tried calling dad and after a few attempts, Ashlyn called back on his phone and told me that she was with dad at the emergency room. I talked to dad (who knew what Tyler was planning) and he told me not to worry and that I should go on the date. So, we did. Tyler never actually told me where we were going for dinner or what we were doing, but I just attributed it to the fact that it had been kind of hectic at home. After we had been driving on the freeway for a few minutes Tyler told me that we were going to dinner in Salt Lake at Kneaders. When we got to SLC, we parked by the conference center and walked through Temple Square. As we were passing the Joseph Smith Memorial building Tyler asked if I'd like to stop by and play the piano a little bit before dinner. I readily agreed because I hadn't been there for a few weeks. As we walked up the staircase, the lady who takes your ticket for the Joseph Smith movie was very friendly towards us as she vigorously waved her hand at us. I thought that was kind of odd, but then thought, "she must be a very nice worker lady here." (I later found out she had talked with Tyler earlier that day.) When we got to the room with the piano, Tyler went over to the piano and told me he couldn't remember how to lift up the lid on the piano. I thought that seemed a little silly, but then thought, "Well, I struggle with guitars." I went to lift up the lid and noticed that there was a bouquet of flowers inside. Then I blurted out, "Someone left their flowers inside the piano!" Then I noticed there was a picture of Tyler and I and I said, "with a picture of us!" (I still hadn't caught on to what was happening...I'm kind of slow sometimes) Tyler then asked me to sit down on the piano bench and that's when I realized he was proposing and before he had finished asking me to marry him I was nodding my head to say "Yes!"

 The rest of evening was quite the adventure.

We decided to cut our date short to make sure dad was okay. When we came back home, no one else was home still. I called my brother who told me dad had been life-flighted to the U of U medical center in SLC. I found out that a few days earlier dad had hit his head pretty hard and it resulted in bleeding on the brain. Tyler and I drove back to SLC and fortunately, dad was stable and no surgery was needed. Dad told me he knew Tyler was going to propose and didn't want to postpone him proposing. I'm thankful that dad was okay in the end. I was upset that they hadn't called me about the life-flight, but they said, "we knew what was happening and didn't want to ruin your evening!" (sigh)

So, that is the story of how things came to be.

Never say never. Your plan isn't always what God's plan for you is.

We are getting married on July 10th and I am ready to be done with wedding plans FOREVER.

Life is full of wonderful surprises. I have been greatly blessed in so many ways this year. I'm thankful for the hand of the Lord in everything. It's amazing. I am sure that he is very mindful of us and what we need to experience and learn at various points of our lives.

Our love story won't have a happy ending...because real love stories never have an end! :)

That's all. Hope you made it through this beast of a post without any casualties.

Lots of love!!!

Sneak Preview

 I know I've neglected writing on here much, BUT there is consolation in knowing that I will resume writing a bit more after the semester of death is over.

A whole bunch of wonderful goodness has happened since the last time I posted on here so hold onto your boot straps (or other if you aren't the boot wearing type) and get excited (I hope you are getting excited right about now)!! I'll be posting in the near future!


Here's a sneak preview:

Swept Off My Feet

Hello! I have missed writing on here. Really I've just missed the way things used to be once upon a time. It's hard to accept change sometimes (sigh).
I have been enjoying the quote that says, "The only constant in life is change."
That is a true blue statement!

The weather has most certainly been changing. Utah experienced an ICE STORM a few days ago. Everything is a sheet of ice and it definitely swept me off my feet a few times, haha! (and continues to do so...as everything is still a sheet of ice). Weber State's Science Building staircase is quite a fright to go down when it's a sheet of ice.
I'm not sure I was made to endure this kind of weather. The cold has sunk into my bones. Brrrrrr! The dry weather makes my hands look like sun-dried tomatoes too. If you've ever seen a sun-dried tomato, you know they aren't a pretty sight. Let's just say I am anxiously awaiting spring time. :)

Ashlyn has made it a goal to scare me as many times as she can in a day. Everyday. I think my nerves have had about all they can take. She hides in my closet, behind doors, and on the staircase and jumps up and says, "BOO!" The usual response is, "AHH!" She does a good job sweeping her seeester off her feet. :) I love that kid.

Speaking of things that have swept me off my feet, there is a wonderful, handsome young man who has managed to sweep me clean off my feet. I absolutely adore him and consider myself the luckiest girl around to be with him. We've gone on many an adventure including (but not limited to) snow shoveling service, sledding, ice skating, Harmon's, and we are in the process of becoming songwriters. :) I believe Heavenly Father definitely has had a hand in our lives as we "coincidentally" ended up in the same institute class at Weber State...which starts at 7:30 in the morning (I know it's not early morning seminary, but still. It's tough for us spoiled Utahns!) AAAND we both work at the same place. J&J Nursery. The horticulturists. That's us. We plant, sing, and talk to the flowers.
Yep. I am convinced the Lord is in the details of our lives. (See Pres. Monson's talk: "Consider the Blessings" OCT 2012 Conference)

Changing is hard, but I know it's how we grow spiritually. I know the Lord allows us to experience everything we go through so we can draw closer to Him ultimately. We have to learn to let go of the things we want and things we desire and do what He knows is best for us. Everything starts with humility and becoming like a child who will "submit to His father in all things." I love the hymn, "Nearer Dear Savior to Thee" Here are the lyrics for you to ponder:

Nearer, dear Savior, to thee,
Nearer, nearer to thee—
Ever I’m striving to be
Nearer, yet nearer to thee!
Trusting, in thee I confide;
Hoping, in thee I abide.

[Chorus]
Take, oh, take, and cherish me,
Nearer, dear Savior, to thee.

Nearer, dear Savior, to thee,
Nearer, nearer to thee—
Proved by my trials, I’ll be
Nearer, yet nearer to thee!
Humbly I come to thee now;
Earnest, I prayerfully bow.

[Chorus]

Nearer, dear Savior, to thee,
Nearer, nearer to thee—
Ever my anthem will be
Nearer, yet nearer to thee!
Loving thee, ever I pray,
Aid me thy will to obey.

[Chorus]

Nearer, dear Savior, to thee,
Nearer, nearer to thee—
Let me by holiness be
Nearer, yet nearer to thee!
When all my trials are done,
When my reward I have won

[Chorus]

I love y'all!

Post Mission Life (Derailed!)

Hello from the snowy, icy, frigid land of UTAH!
I can hardly believe I am home. It seems like a dream. I feel like a participant in the movie, "Inception." The mission felt like a dream, and being home feels like a dream. I hope that feeling goes away soon. I feel like a train that has been derailed. It's hard to remember things that happened before the mission sometimes. I feel disoriented and lost a lot of the time; not sure what I should do with myself, etc.
One of my dear mission companions, Sister Sabrina Welch wrote me a letter while I was still out and related the transitions a missionary goes through to the Plan of Salvation. We have a wonderful life with our families before we leave (like the pre-earth life), we are "born" in the mission field (earth life), we serve, things are hard, we face incredible amounts of opposition and stress (agency and opposition in all things), we find the greatest joy we know (learning about Jesus Christ and the power of the Atonement), we "die" in the mission field (mortal death), we fly home on the airplane (kind of like the spirit world), and then we return home to our families (celestial kingdom!).
Being home has been a big transition; but not as earth-shattering as everyone seemed to make it out to be. It was difficult to come home to completely unfamiliar surroundings. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around the hard facts of life. But, I just try to take things one day at a time and that seems to be helpful. :)
Things I miss about being a missionary:
My companion-She had the same goals I did. It was nice to have someone with the same objectives in mind.
Structure
Having something productive to do with my life every hour of the day
Companion study
Teaching
Bearing testimony frequently throughout the day
Going to bed at 10:30
Being safe...practically untouchable from the dating world!
North Carolina-the people, the weather, the everything
Going to church as a missionary
Gospel Principles
Having a purpose that I understand and know how to accomplish.
Having a magic blue card that I could buy food and other essential things with
Being concerned only for the welfare of others. Now I have to worry about myself...

There is a whole plethora of other things I could probably ramble off, but that might take a while (for you to read and me to type) and since we all have time constraints, I will refrain.

I gave my Homecoming address this past Sunday. I was scared out of my skirt! I think it went alright though. It felt so good to be able to bear my testimony, to teach some basic principles of the gospel and tell other people about some of the people I was able to meet and to teach. I felt so good after sacrament meeting was over. Brother Mark Fitch, who just returned home from France spoke with me. It was really neat because we both addressed the same topic, The Doctrine of Christ (Faith, Repentance, Baptism by Immersion, Receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and Enduring to the End).
Coincidence? I think not!

Re-submersion into everyday life has been greeted with resistance. I still don't like listening to the radio (except 89.1, my beloved classical music station). Lance tried to introduce me to some new music. It resulted in tears. I think you see the world through a different lens than the rest of the world as a missionary. One day at a time...

My biggest fear right now is doing something to offend the spirit. I don't want to lose it. Making sure I take time to read from the Book of Mormon everyday and continuing the habits of praying and filling my day with worthwhile activities has been helpful. I have found that being selective about what is okay and what is not okay to see, listen to, participate in, etc has been a challenge. Especially in the entertainment department. Music was my lifeblood before I left. Now, I am finding a clash of standards. The iTunes library has shrunk significantly in some genres.

I want to go and serve someone.

I have talked a lot about how much I miss being a missionary, but it would also be important to note that I absolutely LOVE being home with my family. It is so nice to hold them in my arms again and talk with them and my favorite is snuggling with Ashlyn when she's getting ready for bed. It has been wonderful to be back home with them. Words can't describe the joy I felt when I saw them as I came down the escalator. It was the best thing EVER.

My love and appreciation for the experiences I have had during the past 18 months have definitely deepened since I've been home. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I loved being a missionary. It was the best thing I have ever done with my life. I don't regret the decision to serve.

The church is definitely true. If you don't know it yet, you can. Read the Book of Mormon and you will understand God's plan. You will see He has a grand purpose and plan for you. Bigger than you can comprehend. He can see the end from the beginning. You will learn to trust Him more, know Him better and feel His love work through you as you help other people. That's what I do know.

I hope to be a somewhat frequent blogger even though life is about to go insane with school and possibly (hopefully) a job of some sort. Not to mention I have committed myself to President Beard to re-enter the dating world (ugh).

Stay in tune!

Happy New Year (23 hours and 22 minutes late)

Love you all!